I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
