WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
