yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think I died a long time ago.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize