eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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