eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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