Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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