i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
