no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm both gender and math confused
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