Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
