He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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