It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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