I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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