my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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