I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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