strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
