Already got asked if we're dating
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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