she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
