ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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