Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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