my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
