how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
