I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
