he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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