She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize