Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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