you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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