I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
