Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.