life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.