im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
