Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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