Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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