I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
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I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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