The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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