I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
