God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
