dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
