My hand turned me down
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
