And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
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