I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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