Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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