My sheets look like a crime scene.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
