My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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