I'm eating all of the evidence.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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