I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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