he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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