sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I cannot find my penis.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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