His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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