Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
