is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
