he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You're a waste of cheezeits
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
