I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
