just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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