my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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