i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
