How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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