so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
