I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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