They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
