Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
