i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
