you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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