Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
