just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
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I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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