You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
